Well I can't tell you how happy I was to see this weeks topic this morning! I can honestly say that last night was one of the hardest nights of parenting Brant and I have ever had. And yes, I questioned half of it wondering if I was doing the "right" thing, but over the course of the entire night, I realized that "right" for Emmalee may not be "right" for everyone else...and vice versa.
It all started at dinner. We no longer make Em sit in her high chair. She gets to sit in a regular chair at the table with mommy and daddy. Well last night she had no interest in sitting, which has been a problem a few times but nothing to the extent of last night. To put it in a nutshell, within the course of 30 minutes, she managed time out twice, and had to go to her bed. (If she throws a royal fit in time out, or if time out doesn't work, we tell her she needs to go get in her bed until she can behave or calm down. It is usually the last draw, but it usually works). Well it didn't work! She came out of her bedroom and wanted me to hold her. Not going to happen - she needed to sit in her seat and eat her dinner. So when I told her no, she hit me. Back the bedroom she went...where she proceeded to scream bloody murder for the next 10 minutes.
After 10 minutes, I had a bounding headache so I went to shut her door. The back-breaker, I heard her crying "Bye Mommy, sorry. Bye Mommy, sorry." Those are words that just break my heart. So I went in to talk to her. I sat on her bed with her and we talked about why she was in her bed. I asked her why she was screaming. I explained that it is important to do what mommy and daddy ask her to do. And that was the end of it. She finished her dinner, and then we played....until 8:00.
Around 8, Em asked for applesauce and I got her some. When she was finished, she put her bowl on the floor, so I asked her to pick it up and put it on the table so she didn't step in it. Her response, "No.". Again, I asked. "No." Enter Daddy. He explained that mommy asked her to do something and she needed to do it. "No." After 3-4 minutes of Daddy and Mommy asking, Daddy ended up forcing her hand to the bowl, and making her pick it up. It was an act of PURE defiance! The first of it that I have ever seen come from my child. Yes, there have been moments where she didn't want to do something, but this was something different.
It was in this moment that I began to ask myself "What are you doing?" "Are you doing this parenting thing 'right'?" "Is it just because she is 2?"
And as I asked myself these questions, my prayer was "Oh Lord Jesus, please help me be the mom I am supposed to be." Then the wise words of sweet friend came back to me. They are words that she told me just in a story one day not long ago, but they are words with such impact that they have never left my heart. And they are words that of wisdom shared with her from another mom, too. And it was this fact: God created you - exactly YOU - to be the mom your child needs. He created YOU to raise them, not someone else. He created YOU to supply their needs, and He created YOU to love just the way they need to be loved.
God created ME to be Emmalee's mommy, not someone else. He created Brant and I to raise her and love her, and teach her and discipline her in the ways that she needs. Emmalee is strong-willed, and she needs strong-willed parents to help raise her in a way that will help her grow her strengths of leadership, but also help teach her that we don't always get our way. He created us to teach her obedience to us and others.
So maybe our way of parenting isn't the "right" way for you to parent, but remember that God created YOU for YOUR child. He equipped YOU to be what they need. So seek Him in your parenting, because He will be all that YOU need to be a parent.
