31 Letters to My Daughter

The Nesting Place is hosting her annual 31 Days of Blogging where you pick a subject or "thing" to write about for the 31 days of October.  I won't lie to you and say that my "subject" of choice was an easy one - it was not.  Originally, I had planned on writing about 31 days of my favorite recipes, but some recent things in my life changed that.

You see today I had to attend a funeral.  It was a young lady named Lynette.  Lynette was the older sister of one of my dear friends and college roommates.  Lynette was suddenly killed in a car accident last Thursday, September 27th, when her compact car collided with an 18-wheeler.  Lynette was never married, but she did have a 13 year old son, Noah.  For me, one of the most difficult parts of the funeral today was hearing the letter that her son wrote telling his mother "goodbye."

As a mother, nothing breaks my heart more than seeing a child lose its mother, or a mother lose her child.  Its a heartbreak that I do not know, nor can I fathom.  So today, my "31 Days" changed.  Today, I decided to write 31 letters to my daughter - letters about life, letters about love, and letters from my heart.  These are the things I want her know, whether I tell her myself, or not.  So today, I begin...

My Sweetest Emmalee Caroline,
I'm writing you this series of letters because there are so many things about life that I want you to know, so many things I want you to believe in, and so many things that I want you to understand.  Today, I want you to know a little bit about who you are.

You are the daughter of Ashley and Brant Williams and we love you more than you can imagine.  All of my life I dreamed about being a mom; all I ever wanted was to hear someone call me "Momma."  Your daddy and I had been married a little over 2 years when we decided to start our family.  Little did we know that we were about to take a very long and life-changing journey.

It took almost 2 years for you to be conceived.   After 6 months of not getting pregnant, my doctor, Dr. Atkins, started to run some tests.  For the next 12 months I had to do blood tests every 30 days, was on a countless number of prescription and drug combinations, and was eventually told "We don't know what's wrong, and don't know why you can't have a baby"  I was so heartbroken, but your daddy and I had faith that if we were meant to be parents, the Lord would provide.

It was a Friday night, August 20, 2010, when I found out I was pregnant.  I was in complete disbelief, joy, and shock all at the same time.  There was no explanation on how I had gotten pregnant and even our doctor was surprised when he received the phone call.  You, were literally, a miracle.

At our 24 week sonogram, Dr. Atkins discovered that you only had 2 blood vessels in your umbilical cord...you were supposed to have 3.  He explained that this type of situation could result in a deformity, low birth weight, or no abnormality at all.  I can't explain the fear I felt but it was completely replaced with peace as your daddy and I began to pray over you.  The day you were born they said that you, my little miracle baby, were perfect - all 7 lbs and 13 oz of you - perfect!  God, again, had made you a perfect miracle.

I tell you these things for one reason:  so that you will know how wanted, how cherished, and how loved you are.  You are a miracle, a treasure, a joy and the light of my life.  God, and God alone, created you and it is my honor to get to be your mother.