Friday, February 21, 2014

This is My Story

Ever since I was a little girl, all I have ever wanted was to be a wife and a mom. Well my first dream came true when I married my husband, Brant on July 20, 2007. After a year and a half of marriage, we decided to try and start our family.

I had been on birth control for several years, so I obviously got off of it, but after 14 weeks, still did not have a cycle. That began our almost 2 year long journey to have a baby. The doctors began to run an assortment of tests, but nothing seemed to reveal the cause of a lack of ovulation. I was prescribed progesterone and different hormones in hopes that my body would react to them, but it didn't. I was prescribed high doses of Clomid, but is still did nothing. Last October, the doctor told us that our next option was an infertility specialist. He had exhausted every avenue possible to him but a specialist may be more suited to address the "problem."

As I began to research infertility specialists in my area, I reached a breaking point. I was stressed out, emotionally exhausted, and scared of what the future held. So I called a dear friend of my family, Mrs. Edith. Mrs. Edith has a doctorate in natural medicine. I simply called and asked her if she would tell me something that I could take for the stress. After a long appointment with her in early November, she put me on a cell detox. Her thoughts were that since I was on birth control, the tissue and cells of my ovaries and uterus had absorbed the toxins in the birth control; therefore, my body still had the drug in the bloodstream which prevented ovulation. So, I started to take a cell detox. On January 1st, I had a cycle.

I will remember that for a long time. Brant and I felt like we had finally won a battle in this infertility war because I finally ovulated.  Before I went to the infertility specialist, I wanted to exhaust my options. So we did. I continued the cell detox, got back on Clomid, and let nature take its course. After 5 months, we still were without a baby, and again felt completed defeated.

Brant and I began to talk about adoption more and more. We had finally come to a place where we just laid it at His feet. I told the Lord that I would be ok if I never "had" a child, but that I still desired to be a mother. I told Him that I trusted His plan, and that if He would just lead us, we would gladly follow. I remember what a peace I felt after finally giving it ALL to Him.

I never imagined that God just needed me to finally let Him have the reins before He was ready to put His plan into action.

August 20, 2010 is a day that changed our lives forever. After two years of trying, we found out that we were going to have a baby. On September 3rd, we heard the sweetest sound - a strong beating heart. Our sweet baby girl Emmalee was born on April 15, 2011.

Today, at almost three years old, she is one of the spunkiest, sassiest, and funny little girls I've ever met!  

At the time I never knew God's plan for my family, but He has proved Himself faithful over and over. On the days where I felt nothing but despair, He provided people to pray over me. When I felt hopeless, He provided women who encouraged me. He was my ultimate physician and healer.

Fast forward a few years and we were thrilled and VERY surprised when we found out that God was going to bless us again!  This past September Ms. Madeline Grace was born.

In an instant, God changed our lives. I will encourage those struggling with infertility by saying this: His plan is perfect, even when we are not. Rest in Him and follow where He leads you. Remember Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you' declares the Lord, ' plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans for a HOPE and a FUTURE."

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Pouring into the Next Generation

Brant and I have been doing going to a weekly Bible Study that is studying Kay Arthur's "Marriage Without Regrets" precept course.  It has been so enlightening to study what God's plan for marriage is and knowing the roles and expectations He laid out for man and woman.  On the other hand, it's made me realize the example that I want to be for my girls, and that my friends is definitely bringing some changes in my heart and actions.

Many of you may know, or read the blog of, Amanda Jones (AKA Baby Bangs).  Her dear husband Curtis once preached a sermon about being Godly men and women, and during his sermon he made one of the most profound statements that I will never forget:  When your children think about the most Godly woman they know, they should be thinking about you, their mother.  And when your children think about the Godliest man they they know, they should think about their dad! 

Wow!  What a powerful statement!  It was probably close to 10 years ago that I heard this sermon, but it made such an impact on me that I still remember it today.  The problem with this statement is that its PURE TRUTH!  If I want my girls to fall in love with their Savior and serve Him, then I have to do the same thing.  If I want my girls to be Godly women who are obedient to His calling; who raise their own children in a Godly home and show them what the "Proverbs 31 Woman" is, then I have to be an example of the Proverbs 31 Woman!

What this precept class has shown me more than anything is what God actually intended for that woman to look; what her role for her family was to be; what characteristics she should possess.  So now I've started the journey of becoming more like "that" woman.  I want to be a Godly example for my children, regardless of the secular world we live in.  I want to show them that, even though there is darkness around you, you can still be the light! 

To add fuel to "my" fire, I watched all of the IF: Gathering videos last Monday (yes, I wanted them all in a day because I felt like I couldn't get enough of them).  How fitting that this was about running the race and pouring into the next generation.  Christine Cain just about hit the nail on the head when she said God wants "the wisdom of the older generation, the resources of the middle generation and the zeal of the younger generation all running together."  But we have to BE the generation!  We have to instill a sense of urgency in the younger generation to have that zeal because the Lord is coming again, and we MUST be ready. 

So as a Godly woman, the biggest "generation" I can pour into is my own children!  I want to pour love, and wisdom, and truth into them, but I cannot do it on my own.  So I praise the Lord that He gave us the Holy Spirit who can work through me.  So today, I'm starting with the little things.  I'm talking to Emmalee more about who Jesus is, and the love that He has for her; we pray as a family more; we talk about how Jesus likes us to act.  They may seem like small things, but my prayer is that they turn into life-long things. 

So if you're pouring into your kids to raise up the next generation, what are you teaching them?  How are you the example for them to look up to?  What are you instilling in them and showing them so that, in 20 years when they think about the most Godly woman they know, they think of you?