Day 19: Hope for a Messed Up Marriage

I love my husband. 

We have a very good marriage. 

We are happy.

But I also know that we committed to our marriage for a lifetime, and that is a very long time.  And I would be kidding myself if I didn't face the fact that there might be a very dark place in our marriage before this lifetime is over.  I am almost certain that there will come a day when I want to throw my hands in the air and give up.

I saw it happen before my very own eyes recently.  Unfortunately, it was to my very own parents.  I saw a marriage that I knew to be made of steal come crashing to the ground.  Being raise in a Christian home I thought that their marriage might bend, and sway back and forth, but it was made of steal and would NOT be broken. 

But I was wrong. 

Since that day, December 17, 2012 to be exact, I have done everything in my power to strengthen my marriage because if I'm completely honest, I am scared to death of it being broken thirty years from now.  If it happened to them, it can happen to me. 

So that is why my 31 Day favorite is 31 Days of Hope for a Messed Up Marriage.

Caiobhe ( pronounced Keeva) is nothing short of completely transparent in her series about allowing the Lord to bring light in the darkness of a shattered marriage.  Her story is sad, encouraging, hopeful, and beautiful.  It gives me hope to know that if one day my marriage is falling apart, our God is a God of restoration.  He alone can breathe live into death.  He makes all things new. 

So if you are struggling in your marriage today, or if you know someone who it, remind them that there is hope.  Send them to Ciaobhe's story. 

Day 16: 31 Days to a Better Marriage

Sorry about taking a few days off, my friends.  I had a sick baby at home with Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease.  Poor baby was a tad bit needy...as in she wouldn't let me put her down, ugh.  So sorry to say, blogging just fell to the back seat.  But I'm trying at least get back on the bandwagon.

So my last post was tips for marriage, but today's post is specifically for wives and how to love your husband through difficult situations:  Jolene Engle had an incredible series in 2013 that addresses how to have a better marriage:  31 Days to a Better Marriage

I tried to sum it all up but it just wasn't possible, so I stole borrowed the summary Jolene has up on her introduction page:

"You’ll learn about wives who have gone through hardships such as:  

Years of a messy marriage, financial turmoil, Adultery, Pornography, The death of a child, Living with cancer.

We are real wives with real issues and we’ll be sharing from our place of pain, how we overcame, what God has taught us, how He changed us, and what we do to keep our marriage thriving."

Jolene's series address some of the most difficult situations that can arise in our marriage and how to get through them:  sex, in-laws, differences in expectations, and the list goes on and on.

I  love day 17: His Wife First.  It applies greatly in my life because although I ADORE my children, I also LOVE my husband.  Remember the other day when I said one of my mottos is that the best thing I can do for my children is to love their father?  This day is all about that mission - being a wife, first. Another post I really enjoyed was day 22:  Being Intentionally Intentional.  Its making sure that we embrace very day we have together.  

If you don't read through this whole series, because it can definitely pull on the heartstrings, book mark it!  Go back when you're struggling in your marriage.  Go back to this when you've hit a rough patch (because yes, we ALL will have those times) and be encouraged, be strengthened, and be challenged. 

Day 15: 31 Days of This Sweet Love

If you're new to my blog, then know this:  I'm a 33 year old working (outside of the home) wife and mother to two precious girls.  I am a Christian and believer in Jesus Christ.  My priorities: bringing glory and honor to my Savior, and being the best wife and mom I can be to my family.  So naturally, many of my favorite 31 day series have been about parenting, raising children, and keeping a home because that is exactly the phase of life that I am in. 

But today's series is about something more important than raising my children, at least to me.  Have you ever heard the saying that the best thing you can do for your children is to love their father?  Well I'm a firm believer that statement is true.  One of the best things I could ever do for my children is to take delicate care of my marriage. 

So today's series is from Natalie at Little Things & Big Stuff:  31 Days of This Sweet Love. 

I love this series because it is exactly what the blog button says - its little tips and ideas to help learn how to make marriages work.  Its joining your Google calendar so that you know you aren't double-scheduling yourselves; its setting limits on what you believe to be ok and not ok to discuss on social media; its meal planning; date ideas and everything in between.  

Your marriage is important.  It is the most important earthly relationship that I have.  If I don't take care of my marriage and it falls apart, how is that any good for my children?  So I choose to make my marriage a great one.  No, it is not perfect; heck, it is far from perfect.  But I absolutely love and adore my husband, and have made a commitment to be his wife and helpmate for the remainder of my life. 

Granted, I know that there will be hard days when I'm ready to give up, but there are also the greatest days that have made a home in my heart.  Marriage is work.  So I hope you enjoy Natalie's series as much as I do. And there will be a few more series that I post relating to marriage, although many of them are current series so I'll be recommending them toward the month.  So stay tuned.

5 on Friday

So I decided that today I would participate for the very first time in 5 on Friday!!!  I'm actually very excited about it.  I have had several people express to me that its a great way to get over my blogging slump, mainly because I can just talk about any ole' thing I want to- and what's better than that?

So without further ado, here are my 5 on Friday!

{ONE}

 Kelly's Korner is, of course, having her "Show Us Your Life" and this week is for freezer meals! 

Can I just say Praise the Lord!!!!!!  If there is one thing I know I need to do before baby #2 gets here is prepare some of these meals, and I honestly don't have but maybe 1 or 2 freezer meals recipes: chicken spaghetti and lasagna.  So I have a feeling my printer might be working overtime printing off every recipe posted! 

{TWO}

I know I posted about one of my new favorite Etsy stores yesterday, but I found another one!  My sister was looking for a gift for one of her girlfriends, and found this site.  She sent me the link and now I am in love!  Its Rosie Posie Designs. Her stuff is adorable, and the shop owner's name is Ashley, so how could I NOT love her stuff?  This is probably one of my favorite things she sells:

I do not have any rights to this picture, it was used from the linked website above.

I am seriously in LOVE with it!  I think I need it.  But she has these personalized trays (in practically EVERY color/pattern known to man)  She also has notepads, coasters, etc.  I think these are perfect for wedding presents! 

{THREE}

 Halloween.  It may seem far off, but considering I'll have a newborn - one month old at Halloween, I'm trying to plan ahead...way ahead!  Last year Emmalee was the Chick-Fil-A cow, and one of the cutest CFA cows I have EVER laid eyes on!  

I had originally planned on dressing her up as a cowgirl this year, and putting a saddle on Dax, our loveable lab, and he would be her horse.  Of course, I wasn't planning on having a new baby this Halloween either, so that has interfered with my plans a bit, unless I just stick Maddie in my moby wrap and go on our merry way...who knows.  

Do you have any cute suggestions for coordinating Halloween costumes for a 2.5 yo and newborn???

{FOUR}

I think I want a new blog design.  I haven't changed this one up in a long time, and I don't really design them anymore.  They are just so time consuming.  I really prefer to just stick with card/party printable designs.  I like the simpler blog designs - you know, the muted colors, simple patterns, etc.  Maybe I'll work on creating a new design this weekend....or I'll wait until Madeline comes.  Who knows. It seems like these pregnancy hormones have me changing my mind every 5 minutes...just ask my husband! 

And speaking of my husband, my

{FIVE}

is him - my one and only.  Tomorrow we celebrate 6 wonderful years of marriage.  Its kind of crazy how fast 6 years can go by, especially once you add babies to the mix.  But the thing that has been on my mind the most lately is how I can't imaging being married to anyone else.  This man is my very best friend.

 He is an amazing father to our sweet girl. He loves her more than life itself, and she adores him.

He loves me like no one else can love me, and puts up with all my pregnancy hormones, emotions, and fits.  I mean truly, how could I ask for anything more?

Happy anniversary, my love!  Here's to the best 6 years of my life, and the next 60 to come!  I can't wait to spend them with you!

Being a Wife, Being a Mom, and Still Trying to Be Me

There is a fabulous group of ladies hosting a series called "Build Them Up."  I love it!  They are just fantastic and I, personally, love the idea of us all rallying around each other to encourage and build each other up. 

http://www.kellyskornerblog.com/2013/04/remembering-you-taking-care-of-yourself.html

Today's encouragement is how to stay "me" when your are constantly surrounded with your children and families.  How do you keep the "you" in your life. 

Its funny because when I think of who I am, and who I have always been, its a mom.  My mother can tell you stories of me as a little girl and I was always toting a baby doll around or playing "house" for hours.  I've been known as the baby-hog forever, hence the name Aunt Grabbie.  I LOVE children.  I LOVE babies and I LOVE being mom. 

I think its this reason that struggling for infertility for 2 years was so hard on me, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  All I have ever wanted to be was a mom.  But I won't lie to and tell you that it fulfilled my every desire, because it hasn't.  What it HAS made me realize is that there is so much more to me. 

I think I put my whole self into being a mom because that was the desire of my heart.  For 2 year, I forgot what it was like to a wife, a sister, a friend.  So it wasn't until after I became a mother did I realize that I lost myself.

So, in order to keep the "me" in me, I do a lot of things. 

1) I work outside the home.  Don't get me wrong, I would LOVE to be a SAHM, but working is actually so good for me.  I have developed amazing friendships and have mentors that I can look up to.  I perform a role for my company that is essential - its keeps things "functioning."  and when I come home each day, I get to lavish hugs and kisses on my 2 favorite people, my daughter and my husband.  I love what I do, and for me, its been so important to have these adult friendships and relationships.

2)  I scrapbook.  Its my way of releasing all of my creative "juices."  For me, its relaxing.  One of my favorite times is getting together with my sister or several girlfriends and just scrapbooking.  There is nothing more fun than going to a scrapbook retreat.  I love it.  Its something I do just for fun, and just for me.

3)  Bubble baths!  They are pieces of heaven sent down to earth for our pure enjoyment.  Now granted, do not take a bubble bath when your toddler is awake because your relaxing bubbles will soon be all over your bathroom floor.  But when your house is quiet, and lights are turned down low, just fill the tub, grab a good book, and RELAX!   (and just FYI, my favorite bubble bath is "Sleep" with lavendar & chamomille from Bath & Body Works). 

4)  Last, but not least, find a girlfriend that you can escape with.  Get away for a weekend, or even just a night.  Its okay to work on your friendships too, even when your a mom and wife.  Friends are the people that will be there when you need to gripe because your husband didn't unload the dishwasher, but your pregnant so your hormones are crazy; when you just need to cry and have someone understand you...its them.  So don't take them for granted, and remember how precious their friendship is to you. 

Favorite Picture Ideas

Today on Kelly's Korner "Show Us Your Life", she is talking about favorite picture ideas.  And in my opinion, there is nothing better than simply capturing life!  Not poses, not portraits, but life...the smiles, the laughter, the true emotion of seeing someone truly live in the moment.

When Brant and I got married, we had a wonderful photographer names Julie Robles. (now don't judge that I didn't use my sister because 1, she was my matron of honor and 2, she hadn't started her photography business yet!)  But Julie was wonderful and did amazing work.  But my most favorite pictures that she took were right after the wedding ceremony had ended.  As soon as we walked out of the santuary, she pulled Brant and I aside, and took us into the courtyard.  She said "You have 5 minutes to just think about what just happened.  You're married!  So I want you to take this 5 minutes with each other, and just reflect."  And so we did, but the moments she captured between us are, in my opinion, priceless.  

Five Fabulous Years

Last Friday, July 20, Brant and I celebrated our 5 year anniversary.  I still can't believe that its been 5 years since we said "I do."

I remember that day like it was yesterday.  I remember saying my vows and thinking that there was no way my life could get any better - but I was wrong.  Life has gotten better and I am blessed every day to be married to this man.

To add a twist to our day of matrimony, it was also the best-man's (Brant's best friend, Ryan) birthday.  So as we celebrated 5 years of marriage, Ryan was celebrating 30  years of life!  So we spent Friday night with some of our favorite people celebrating Ryan. 

Me and Melissa

Definitely the more the merrier!

Brant is one incredible golfer - and I'm not being biased here - he really is!!!

The men thought they needed to teach the women how to swing a club.

Happy Anniversary Love!! 

Its been an incredible 5 years and I can't wait to spend the next 50 years with you by my side!

My Advice...on Marriage!

Today Kelly's Korner is going a blog-hop on marriage advice. If you look at my post from Wednesday here, you'll see that Brant and I just celebrated 4 years of marriage - and it has been the best 4 years of my life!

Although I am by far no expert on marriage, I do have a few tidbits I try to live by in order to make marriage a happy one.

1) PICK YOUR BATTLES
I hate fighting, and to me, there is nothing worse than fighting all the time. In marriage, I think you have to pick your battles. Don't fight over the small stuff because its just that - small stuff. I have a friend who gets mad (and stays mad) over the silliest things, yet she wonders why she can't have a long-term relationship. Who wants to be with someone who gets angry and yells because you didn't say "I love you" when they hung up the phone? So pick your battles wisely!

2) TREAT EACH OTHER WITH RESPECT
Respect is one of things that every one of us expects, but don't always give. As a wife, I have to respect my husband, but I also expect him to respect me. We value each others' opinions and listen to what the other one has to say. If you don't then our marriage would fall apart. How can you have a bonded relationship with someone if you don't have respect for them?

3) KEEP IT SPICY
I think, or at least I hope, this one speaks for itself. But just in case you need some help do on a date, have a night out (w/out kids), put one some "cute" pj's...the stuff that keeps is fun!

4 Years of Bliss

Today Brant and I are celebrating our 4th wedding anniversary. It seems like just the other day when we said "I do", but in some ways it feels like a lifetime ago because it just a few 4 years, so much has happened.

We began a life together.

We bought a house!

We have welcomed nephews into the world and spoiled the other niece and nephews. We have watched them grow and seen the Lord at work in their lives.

We have been through tragedies. We've buried and grieved for loved ones.

WE (yes we because I helped) have gotten Master's degrees and are working on a second!

We have supported each other through lost jobs and new beginnings.


We have traveled to marvelous places like Cancun and Hawaii.

(Yep - that me definitely pregnant in Hawaii)


We struggled for 2 years with an emotional journey of infertility.

But we cried tears of joy when we saw our prayers were answered.
And we sang His praises when this precious angel came into the world and changed our lives forever.

Mr. Williams, I love you more today than when I said "I do" those 4 short years ago. You have loved me unconditionally and supported me through the good times and bad. You are my very best friend and I cannot wait for the next 4 years, and the 40 after that! I will love you for the rest of my life.

1095 Days of Bliss

So today I have been married to the love of my life for 3 long wonderful year! Marriage really has been fun and I can't wait for another 3 years...and 3 more after that, and 3 more after that...for a lifetime!

Brant gave me a card this morning because he said it described us perfectly. If you may, allow me to share with you what me and my hubs are really like!

We laugh; we flirt; we love!
We make out, and make up;
We drive each other CRAZY - keep each each other sane.
We hold each other tight, and we hold each other together.
We are each better because of the other.

For those of you that are single, I'll be blunt...marriage is not always peas and carrots - its not always fun. But it is worth it! Yes, Brant and I still flirt with each other! Yes, he drives me absolutely batty sometimes times, but he truly does keep me sane and grounded during the hard times. I am a better person because of him. And that is why marriage is worth it - because I get to spend everyday with my helpmate, my partner, my very best friend!

Brant Williams - I love you more today that I ever have before, and I am honored to be your wife. My life has never been the same since the day you entered it, and I wouldn't have it any other way!

Proposal Story

Today at Kelly's Korner, everyone is sharing their proposal stories.

My proposal story happened on Valentine's Day, 2007. Brant and I had been dating for about a year and a half, and I knew this was the man I would marry. We had talked about a summer wedding because he knew I didn't want to get married in the fall or winter (only because we already have too many birthday and family "stuff" during that time) and I certainly didn't want to wait until next spring.

Well the night before Valentine's Day, I remember us being on the phone and Brant told me that he didn't know when I would get my wedding. He had planned to buy an engagement ring with his tax return, but he didn't know how big his return would be or when he would get it. So I spent most of the night in tears...but he promised me that he WOULD marry me one day.

So for Valentine's Day, we had plans just to go to dinner, so I told him that I would meet him at his apartment after work. So as soon as I got there, he asked if I was ready for my present, and I told him yes. So he asked me to sit down in the chair and close my eyes. I felt something heavy in my hands, and when he told me to open my eyes, there was a beautiful leather bound Bible with Ashley Williams engraved on it. Well, Williams is of course my married name, so at the time, I was Ashley Wages. Brant told me to open my new Bible to 1 Corinthians, chapter 13. There, tied to the small satin bookmark was a beautiful diamond solitaire.

If Brant were describing this story, he would tell you that it was at that moment that I turned into Niagara Falls. He then pulled me to my feet, untied the ring, and on one knee, asked me to be his wife.

The rest is simply history. We were married 5 short months later and I was able to have my summer wedding. In July, Brant and I will celebrate 3 years of marriage. It seems like we had our first date just yesterday. Well, I guess we'll see what the next 50 years holds!!!

Wedding

Kelly's Korner weekly blog hop is all about wedding today.

I have to tell you that I LOVED my wedding, and wouldn't have changed a thing. For me, it was my day from a fairytale and I day I will certainly remember all the days of my life.

We had a Friday night wedding that started at 7:30. My colors were black and light pink, with a splash of silver. We had our wedding and reception at First Baptist Church in Irving.

My flower girl was Kate, who was only 3 at the time. She's is getting to be so big now, but I will never forget how perfect she was on this day.

My bouquet was gorgeous, a mixture of ivory roses and small white flower, accented with rhinestones for some sparkle!

I LOVE this picture of Brant!

The rest are just a few of my favorites!

My bridesmaid dresses were simple, black cocktail dresses with small pink ribbons tied around the waist. They carried small bouquets of pink roses.

I didn't have a ton of decorations. Instead, our attendants stood in the choir loft. On each side of the stage, I positioned a column of pink roses and a column of candles.

After my dad gave me away, he sang "When You Say You Love Me" by Josh Groban...it was absolutely gorgeous.

As we list our unity candle, our dear friends Sarah Allen and Jared Billups sang an amazing duet arrangment of "I Will Be Here" by Steven Curtis Chapman.

One of the most humerous moments of our wedding was lighting the unity candle. When we went to light, my husbands dear groomsmen had put the tip of a firecracker on the wick of the candle. Well it took a minute to light, which freaked me out, but I was much more freaked out when sparks started flying - LITERALLY!

"We're MARRIED!!!!!!!!"

Our rings, a symobl of eternal and never-ending love.