Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Being a Wife, Being a Mom, and Still Trying to Be Me

There is a fabulous group of ladies hosting a series called "Build Them Up."  I love it!  They are just fantastic and I, personally, love the idea of us all rallying around each other to encourage and build each other up. 

Today's encouragement is how to stay "me" when your are constantly surrounded with your children and families.  How do you keep the "you" in your life. 

Its funny because when I think of who I am, and who I have always been, its a mom.  My mother can tell you stories of me as a little girl and I was always toting a baby doll around or playing "house" for hours.  I've been known as the baby-hog forever, hence the name Aunt Grabbie.  I LOVE children.  I LOVE babies and I LOVE being mom. 

I think its this reason that struggling for infertility for 2 years was so hard on me, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  All I have ever wanted to be was a mom.  But I won't lie to and tell you that it fulfilled my every desire, because it hasn't.  What it HAS made me realize is that there is so much more to me. 

I think I put my whole self into being a mom because that was the desire of my heart.  For 2 year, I forgot what it was like to a wife, a sister, a friend.  So it wasn't until after I became a mother did I realize that I lost myself.

So, in order to keep the "me" in me, I do a lot of things. 

1) I work outside the home.  Don't get me wrong, I would LOVE to be a SAHM, but working is actually so good for me.  I have developed amazing friendships and have mentors that I can look up to.  I perform a role for my company that is essential - its keeps things "functioning."  and when I come home each day, I get to lavish hugs and kisses on my 2 favorite people, my daughter and my husband.  I love what I do, and for me, its been so important to have these adult friendships and relationships.

2)  I scrapbook.  Its my way of releasing all of my creative "juices."  For me, its relaxing.  One of my favorite times is getting together with my sister or several girlfriends and just scrapbooking.  There is nothing more fun than going to a scrapbook retreat.  I love it.  Its something I do just for fun, and just for me.

3)  Bubble baths!  They are pieces of heaven sent down to earth for our pure enjoyment.  Now granted, do not take a bubble bath when your toddler is awake because your relaxing bubbles will soon be all over your bathroom floor.  But when your house is quiet, and lights are turned down low, just fill the tub, grab a good book, and RELAX!   (and just FYI, my favorite bubble bath is "Sleep" with lavendar & chamomille from Bath & Body Works). 

4)  Last, but not least, find a girlfriend that you can escape with.  Get away for a weekend, or even just a night.  Its okay to work on your friendships too, even when your a mom and wife.  Friends are the people that will be there when you need to gripe because your husband didn't unload the dishwasher, but your pregnant so your hormones are crazy; when you just need to cry and have someone understand you...its them.  So don't take them for granted, and remember how precious their friendship is to you. 


Kate Craig said...

I had to click over from the link up and see where "Grabbie" came from, haha! It was interesting to hear about your kind of opposite perspective on losing yourself. Glad you're finding balance!

Lil Light O Mine said...

thanks so much for linking up and sharing your story!

Jennifer said...

You are so right about having a girlfriend you can get away with! Those times are always great for me. Thanks for linking up and for sharing your heart!

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