Thursday, September 20, 2012

Discipline...Its NEVER easy

So this little adorable face is 17 months old!  Can you believe it, because I certainly can't!

I know - BAD blurry picture but sometimes its all you can get!
From 0-12 months, Emmalee was here daddy to a tee - calm, laid back, go-with-the-flow, quiet, etc.  As soon as she turned a year, she decided she would "become" her mother - sassy, stubborn, LOUD, a chatter box, always on the go, etc.  When experts say that "opposites attract" - the hubs and I are PROOF!  Just ask anyone who knows us IRL (in real life).

Needless to say, discipline has become a regular occurrence in our home but I also know its just a part of raising a child, and not letting that child raise you. 

But know this, just because Brant and I discipline often does mean that it easy for us to do.  So I just wanted to take a minute to give you some advice, one parent to another. 

We watched! We Read! We Gathered!  
I have watched so many SuperNanny episodes, and although my child is only 17 months old, I believe that she needs discipline.  We watched others and different parenting/discipline styles.  We read books, read articles, read blogs, polled our friends - we gathered as much information on discipline as we could.  It wasn't until we felt fully equipped that we decided how WE were going to discipline.  It was a decision WE had to make together.

We changed our plan! 
 You might realize quickly into your discipline "journey" that its not working - our original plan didn't work for us either, so we changed it!  Just telling Emmalee "no" didn't work  - remember she's just like me - stubborn to the core!  What we realized with LOTS of trial & error is that time out works best for her.  Emmalee is a busy-body but she is also an extrovert (again, just like me).  So being made to sit in one place not being the social butterfly she desires to be is what gets her attention.  She hates it.  But after that 1 minute of sitting by the wall, she has usually calmed down so that mommy can tell her why she was in time out, that she is STILL mommy's precious treasure, and that mommy loves her unconditionally!

Remember that they are smart!
Yes, they may be young but our children are so very smart.  So many experts will tell you that although you may not always understand what they are saying to you, they almost always understand what you say to them.  So remember to talk to them.  Tell them why they got in trouble; tell them the "Why" (i.e. "We don't touch the oven BECAUSE the oven is hot and can hurt you.  Mommy doesn't want you to get hurt.")

And last, but in my opinion one of the important tips to successful discipline:

When you (you as in the parents) decide what course you're going to take to discipline, you both have to do it!   I don't want to be the only "bad guy" in my house, I want my husband to share that responsibility.  Brant and I both discipline our daughter.  If we are both in close proximity, we will both sit down and talk to her about it.  She knows that daddy and mommy both love her, but daddy and mommy will both discipline her.

Discipline is not easy - it usually makes Emmalee cry and seeing my child cry usually makes me want to cry - but it is a part of parenting, its a part of learning and its a part of growing.  I hope these few things may help you a little bit.  I know that learning "how" to discipline was certainly a learning lesson for me and my husband.  But we started early, and I believe that my child is benefiting from that.  I now know why someone once said "It takes a village to raise a child".  And I hope that maybe, with these little tips, my experience can be a part of your village.

So please feel free to comment and share - especially is you have other tips that may help other parents.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

LOVE your post, and LOVE your honesty! She is one very lucky little girl~you and Brant are doing a WONDERFUL job,most importantly you're both supportive of one another and teaching HER right from wrong!

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